Five Healthy Ways to Move Emotions: Just in time for the Holidays

Published by Ben Brown on

Emotions cause problems when we bottle them up and then, like a shaken soda, they explode on those nearby, usually those we care most about.  The fall out can take weeks or years to repair and something’s just can’t be undone.

As we move into the holidays it is good to take a few moments to learn how to move emotions in a healthy way.  Emotions are powerful, they can be the spice of life and they can also destroy a good friendship. There are a good number principles and tools to help make emotions work for you instead of against you. Here are a few you can apply:

Med Students, Residents and Physicians: Remember Simple Thing #5: Release Your Emotions  (from 50 Simple Things to Save Your Life During Residency (and Beyond))

SUPER FAST FIX: Release Your Emotions

Emotions are ‘E’-motions, where E stands for energy. That energy needs motion or it can potentially eat someone up. Be creative; find what the energy you’re feeling needs and then give it a movement that helps it flow.

Journal, swear, exercise, release, dance, scream, run, sweat, jump, play, stomp, cry, laugh, talk to your friends: most of the time I prefer these activities to drinking, smoking, cussing or punching a wall. Find what works for you, and do it.

Start with Simple Thing #5 above and do what will help your emotions to flow, release, find their right place.

Want more?  Read on…I want your holidays to be great!

Why Emotions Cause Problems:

Emotions cause problems when we bottle them up and then, like a shaken soda, they explode on those nearby, usually those we care most about.  The fall out can take weeks or years to repair and something’s just can’t be undone. We are not bad people; we just have been given a lot to hold.

I am speaking from experience: My Experience with Side Walk Rage

I was walking behind someone who was walking just a little slower then I was and I found myself wanting to rip their head off for just being in my way…oops!  It was like road rage, but I did not have the buffer of a car. Fortunately I did not follow through on that.  That was also when I realized it was critical for me to learn to understand my emotions.  And I needed learn to move this energy that I was feeling. 

My training taught me to push my emotions down to be more objective.  What it did not teach me was how to turn them back on again once the need for objectivity was over. I had done so well that I did not know what I was feeling, I felt numb.

Your numbness and hidden emotions hopefully have not gotten to that point, but if you are anywhere close, it is my hope that this information can help you avoid incinerating those who are closest to you.

Emotions are actually here to help us:

Our emotions are actually here to help us, not necessarily to burn the next person who crosses our paths.

Emotion Principles:

•  Do not expect emotions to be rational, yours or others.
•  Most Emotions have two sides, one we like and are comfortable with and the other we push away or get buried by. These three master emotions are variants of Sad (Happy), Angry (Energized) or Fearful (Courageous) and the Master Emotion which has no opposite is Love.
• Emotions are, as the word implies, e-motions, energy that needs motion.  If you remember to create space for this motion after a challenging or emotionally charged situation then you are on your way to having a healthy relationship with your emotions.
• They can all serve us or they can cause us trouble.
• They cause trouble when they are bottled up and come out inappropriate times or as an exaggerated response (like the shaken soda analogy above).
• They can serve us by giving us valuable clues about our hidden selves and by giving us the energy to create/maintain/or destroy what we want.

Here are Five Healthy Ways to Move Emotions: practices that you can do on a regular basis to keep from getting emotionally constipated…

1. Breath:

• The simplest breath is to take a deep sigh, use some noise and really let it go.  IN-OUT with sound and repeat, bring your arms into it if you need.  Raise them up with your inhale and let them flop down with your exhale.
• If you have an ongoing relaxation practice, like meditation using your breath to deepen your relaxation it can be very helpful.

     2. Move:

• Shake your body: start with your feet and then go up your body like a wave, think big wet dog here…
• Exercise: just get out and do the movement you like best, even better if it is in nature. Go until you feel the emotions shift.  Hint: often requires sweat.

     3. Humor:

• Stimulate your sense of humor by learning a new joke a day (apps and online) or playing games, watching a funny movie. Having one or two friends who you like to joke and play with that you can call on when you really need it is great.

     4. Get Creative: R Brain Activity

• Art, poetry, block printing, any creative endeavor can do wonders for processing and ‘digesting that heavy meal‘ of emotions.
• Poetry
• Music: song writing
• Journaling (see other blog post on this)
• First thought: unfiltered
• Gratitude: three things you are grateful for
• Vent out frustrations or anger by writing on paper and perhaps shred or burn it afterwards.
• Nurture: any nurturing activity can work: walking in the woods, cuddling with your sweetie or pet, taking a bath candlelight.

     5. Use a 4 Step Emotional Flow: This is great when you have a few moments to reflect.

    ONE: Acknowledge it:

• Acknowledge that you are feeling an emotion. One of your clues is that your behavior is irrational.

    TWO: Feel It: really feel it, give it the space it needs to be felt.

• Identify where you are feeling the emotion in your body
• Name It: here are a list of common emotions

  THREE: Learn from it:

• Is there a hidden message in this emotion?  Has someone violated one of your rules, have you violated one of your rules, did you not follow through in a way you wish you would have?
• If you have hurt another, maybe this is asking you to say your sorry, work on yourself so you are less likely to repeat this.
• Write about it: Journaling like you are talking to a friend can be very helpful.

   FOUR: Move It

• Follow Through: if you need to say your sorry or need to take space then do it.
• Release it: go exercise, write, scream, jump, any of the ways to move it above.
• Soak it: a bath or shower can be very healing
• Share it: what you are learning or talk to a loving supportive skilled other: a skilled understanding friend or therapist is great for this

What Now:

Using the energy of emotions is what has produced some of the world’s best art, literature, inventions, and nearly every creative pursuit at its heart uses the energy of emotions.  Once harnessed, this energy only burns that which you intend to. Otherwise, you can use this energy to create or maintain other areas that are vital to your wellbeing.  Most of all keep it interesting! Keep learning, stay inspired and have fun!

There are more tips on working with emotions in the 50 Simple Things Book: see thing #40 and others and be exceedingly well!

Dr. Ben